What is the fear of rejection?
The fear of rejection. glossophobia orfear of public speaking, is just one of the ingredients that might have stated fear of rejection, only for fear of misjudgment and disappointment. There are many things that would make us afraid of rejection, and without even trying we could become distracted and lose our confidence to tackle a particular venture or event.
Fear of rejection can be defined as an irrational fear of being rejected before an actual attempt is made. It may be the result of constant denial in the past. Rejection has been defined as the act of rejecting or the state of being rejected (The Oxford English Dictionary, 1989).
Concern or fear of rejection can cause individuals to avoid clear and direct advances that would leave them vulnerable to rejection and humiliation (Vorauer et al., 2003).
In this article:
- What is the fear of rejection?
- Mental health and fear of rejection
- What do you call the fear of rejection?
- What causes fear of rejection?
- Is the fear of rejection normal?
- Signs of fear of rejection
- Fear of rejection therapy
- Fear of rejection childhood trauma
- conquer your fear
In my case, I grew up with insecurities and I even hate disappointment because it would hurt my self-esteem and cause embarrassment, which I'm afraid of. And it only caused more damage when I got mental issues because it just came with feeling like mental illness.
I confess my biggest demon is fear of rejection. I don't want anyone to lose interest in my personality and I've tried so hard to impress other people that I've even lost my own identity because I work for others.
With all of these events in my system, it generated more hostile and prevailing behavior. If a very good friend of mine suddenly ignores my presence, it will definitely create problems in my mind, causing excitement, guilt, apprehension and worry.
But of course nobody wants to be rejected in every case, like e.g. B. interviewing or applying for jobs of any kind, especially more emotional pursuits like romantic desire or courting someone you love.
Mental health and fear of rejection
We may not know it, but the fear of rejection has a tremendous impact on our mental health. Aside from the loss of confidence, the fear of rejection can be considered the greatest kryptonite for mental well-being, although it is measurable and can be determined with the right understanding, you cannot just dodge the taint of rejection that easily, even if you admit that you're okay with that, but deep down you were hoping it was the opposite.
Fear of rejection is the main antagonist why people don't even try, believing that if they fail it's just a waste of time and therefore lose their confidence. But wouldn't it be better if you at least did your best and accepted every result?
Others may have said no but just for practical reason and we are at this point without using the word try and acting, we don't try because we don't want to fail, that's it.
Because of this, it blocks our sanity and causes more problems than not. The average individual can face the fear of rejection on a daily basis, and the only thing that can stop this derogatory approach is acceptance.
Determine and understand the whole event or situation and eventually accept and walk away from it. In this way we can keep our cognitive functions healthy.
What is the fear of rejection called?
Fear of rejection can be viewed as a multifaceted construct that can lead to many serious dysfunctions such as rejection sensitivity, social distancing, exclusion, identity conflicts, insecurity and even violence. Others can be viewed as small issues that contribute to a larger fear of rejection, like doubt.
Hesitation can only be a trivial problem, but it can turn into a fear of rejection if you keep establishing the gesture. Another example is rudeGesture, although it can be done unknowingly or unintentionally, someone else can think about it and imply on another person as rudeness, which amounts to being afraid to see someone disappointed in you. Identification is important here.
Identify the root cause of the negative approach and then assess what might have caused a person to treat you rudely, just like any other problem, there must be a reason for it. It may be that you did something out of your consciousness and you owe them an explanation.
You see, your reaction to this matter actually makes it right to overcome rejection because some other people might reciprocate the hate they were projecting, leading to a misreading of the argument. It's best to clarify things and work on them. There are many rejections that are misconstrued and you do not want to be a victim because you cannot afford to lose your integrity and friendships.
What causes fear of rejection?
The truth is that it's not about perfectionism causing us to stumble out of fear of rejection, it's just that we are intact with our comfort zone and tend to avoid anything outside of that boundary, largely because we fear these four Categories like embarrassment, disappointment, failure and miscalculation.
Aside from these downturns, there are far more factors that impair our mental ability to take risks and explore new things that we only find when we try to get outside, but you don't have to go through these four causes of rejection, if you know yourself better and accept everything with the right evaluation of each situation you are in.
Is the fear of rejection normal?
There's always a chance of being rejected, so even if fear of rejection is inevitable, we can conclude that fear of rejection makes us feel normal. This is due to our pursuit of success in our goal and we are a little unsure of the outcome.
Everyone wants to be successful in whatever they set out to do, and if we're not relentless in pursuing that particular goal, we become more prone to fear of rejection. Therefore it is very important to be prepared for any goal we set in life, walking this path may be difficult but with the right support and preparation there is no way you have any doubts about achieving that goal to reach.
A large number of successful people around the world have not reached the pinnacle of success without grasping the struggles of failure, disappointment or even embarrassment, and these common downturns have been overcome with courage and determination to achieve their goals and just like you to reach. Your persistence in your endeavors is a fundamental key to eliminating the fear of rejection.
Persistence and determination are omnipotent.–Calvin Coolidge.
As I said in the first paragraph of this article, I've lived with the fear of rejection since childhood and it had a huge impact on my illness. It's fair to say that I've run into several missed opportunities because I didn't even try, but I didn't stay in that comfort zone for long. I've learned to have perseverance and determination.
I can't imagine where I would be now if I hadn't overcome my fear of rejection. It occurred to me that if something didn't work or I failed, maybe I'm missing something or maybe it's not for me, some doors were closed but others will open.
For example, I didn't expect writing to become my profession. Never in the course of my excitement that I would find writing a craft that I would love to do, that it would be my profession, that I would be successful at writing.
There's an immense element in writing that fear of rejection couldn't reach, and that level of persistence is a sufficient amount to never back down from any failure.
Signs of fear of rejection
- avoid people
- Getting scared with rude gestures
- Anxious when others don't trust
- Shy and antisocial
- Depressed when someone criticizes
- Nervous about possible rejection
- When someone nearby ignores you
Just like you, earlier in life I had these signs of fear of rejection. I was very shy and often avoided many people. I was nervous when someone was mad at me or when someone gave me the cold shoulder. I just couldn't help but feel bad, I questioned my self-worth and often attributed negative thoughts to my gestures to please someone, to please them in any way I could.
All my life I have been so busy trying to impress other people, depriving me of my own will and desires. I valued too much interest in other people instead of drawing attention to myself, for me it was just awesome to see other people smile while they were looking at me.
I was so hungry for attention that I've been looking for it in all corners of the world and it felt like I was running out of time as I got older and I'm sorry to let anyone down. I hate this feeling. But unfortunately I can never please everyone, that's the saddest truth I've ever had in my head and it's a pure pain in the back of my mind.
Therapy for the fear of rejection
CBT orCognitive Behavioral Therapyis a way to work on and overcome your fear of rejection. It is the best way to recognize or identify core beliefs and what is causing your fear of rejection.
In general, it is advisable to take this therapy to overcome your fear of rejection, although there are other alternative methods that allow for medical treatment and this is up to your discretion as to which method you would choose.
Alternatively, you can do meditations or exercises that practice self-control and discipline, like yoga and other miscellaneous routines like swimming (I prefer that), but depending on you and doing the best work at building your self-esteem, what matters most is your commitment and your progress.
While it's still best to try therapy if it doesn't work for you, it's time to take an alternative route.
Fear of rejection childhood trauma
Childhood trauma was significantly and positively associated with rejection sensitivity, and both childhood trauma and rejection sensitivity were significantly and positively associated with fear of intimacy. And as I mentioned here, I've conquered the fear of rejection since childhood, as evidenced by this research from The Effect of Childhood Trauma on Fear of Intimacy: The Mediating Role of Rejection Sensitivity. advances in psychology.
conquer your fear
- Take a risk if it's worth trying
- self control
Fear of rejection is an irrational thought, meaning you fight demons in your terms and your mindset that haven't happened yet or are believed to happen, but if you allow yourself to take the risk, especially when it does worth trying for yourself - Control and assume your ability to have discipline in all outcomes, persistence in every pursuit with reasonable determination, and finally the courage to make an actual attempt.
That's all you need to overcome the fear of rejection. I know it's not that easy, it takes more time and patience, but believe me.Nothing in the world will replace perseverance. talent will not. The world is full of unsuccessful people with talent.” –Calvin Coolidge.
And when the moment is right, you will overcome your fear of rejection.
And if you do reach this part of this article, I want to give you my appreciation for your time and effort, and if you're interested in reading moreabout mental health awareness,motivational article,informative insightsas well asPoetry for Mental Healthbe sure to subscribe to our newsletter. Thank you and stay healthy.
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Nafees, Nida & Jahan, Musaddiq. (2019).Fear of rejection: scale development and validation.
Ho, Ohsugi (2021).The effect of childhood trauma on fear of intimacy: The Mediating Role of Rejection Sensitivity. advances in psychology. 11. 1236-1246. 10.12677/AP.2021.115139.
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About the author:
Jonathan Ibayan is a content writer, author and mental health advocate. Committed to promoting mental health awareness through blogsdigitalbookmedia.com. His main priority is raising awareness across a variety of online platforms. Writing has never been better without real-life stories to cram into content. He shares his own experiences of coping with mental illness and helping other people amplify their voices that have been silenced due to the stigma.